Communicator. Leader. Influencer. Lover.  Sound familiar? These are common labels used to describe how people are relating in the world, but don’t you find it odd that there is actually a word for someone who relates that we don’t use as much? The word relator is so unused that often people see it and think it is spelled wrong or it is the word used to describes a person who has a career selling homes and commercial buildings.

The world is in desperate need of relators right now.  Are you a relator? Here are some things to consider on your path to developing your relating skills.

A relator is all these things:

1. Active Listener – Active listening involves listening with all senses. As well as giving full attention to who is speaking without interrupting or thinking about what you are going to say next or something else entirely. Active listening also involves giving the person who is speaking verbal and non-verbal cues to show you are listening such as maintaining eye contact, nodding your head and smiling, agreeing by saying “Yes” or simply “Mmm hmm” to encourage them to continue.  This feedback will help the speaker feel more at ease and therefore communicate more openly and honestly.
2. Learner – Expressing a willingness to learn while taking action to do so is a trait worth admiring. Having a relationship with learning makes a person better equip to handle what is changing in the their personal lives and in the world around them. As innovation happens faster, a learner will not feel overwhelmed by progressive advancements.
3. Empathizer – Being able to understand another person’s feelings by imagining what it is like to walk in their shoes it one the greatest ways we practice our shared humanity with each other. Expressing empathy does not necessarily mean you are endorsing what a person is doing, it just means you are able to relate to how they might be feeling.
4. Curious Connector – Slowing down the urge to judge and respond to new information is a trait of being curious. When you are curious, you are asking questions, seeking context and connecting the dots. Best of all being curious allows you to let your guard down and be playful but don’t take my word for it, here are five lessons Curious George gave us. Warning: this link takes you to a great article but unfortunately there is a lot of junk content (fast-food content) on the side of the page that might suck you in.